What I'm learning

At lifgroup,  we're reading through the book "crazy love" by Francis Chan.  We're doing a chapter a week, and I'm on the first chapter.  Although I think the book is good, I think I've learned more from the scripture that he references in the book.  The whole first chapter is about being in awe of God.  In the book he tells you to take a minute and read Isaiah 6....so I did.  I feel like after reading Isaiah 6 I've just been wacked over the head with a frying pan.  I now (not fully) understand what worshipping God should be like.  Isaiah 6:2 says: "Seraphim stood above him, each having six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew."   It goes on to describe what Isaiah saw and felt in the throne room of God.  But this verse stuck out to me the most.  Because when John describes basically the same instance, he never describes seeing the face of God.  And the Israelites hid themselves whenever God passed through their camp because they were to afraid to look at Him...They thought they would die if they saw God.  Isaiah does say that he saw the Lord seated on His throne,  but even Isaiah doesn't describe the face of God.  And later in the 6th chapter it talks about God talking to Isaiah, but it says "Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying Whom shall i send, and whom will go for Us?"  To me this indicates that Isaiah couldn't see God's face because it says he heard the voice of God.  Maybe Isaiah was laying prostrate at this point??  I thought, what if the reason the Seraphim are covering their faces with wings is because they know they can't look at God.  What if the reason they cover their feet, and use the other two wings to fly is because they know that the very ground beneath them is holy ground and they dare not even step on the same ground that God Himself is on.  I feel like whenever I approach God from now on, I will think about worshiping Him in this way...Unworthy to even be talking to Him or standing in His presence....with unclean lips.  God, forgive me for ever coming to you without reverence! Thank you for cleansing my lips with the burning coal, and taking away my sin!

My ulcer's name is keith

So a few months ago I went to the E.R. because my stomach was killing me and I had a bit of chest pain.  The dr's took ex-rays and couldn't find anything.  The said i most likely had a stomach ulcer.  They told me to go do a follow up visit at a dr. here in town just to get it checked on.  I've put it off for a while now,  and the past two nights I've really been in pain.  I also have some kind of sleeping disorder that i need to get checked out.  I've scheduled an appointment on the 27th.  All this to say,  please pray that I can get some rest!!  I haven't had a good nights sleep in probably a month.  An depending on what your view of a good nights sleep is, maybe a couple of years!  The sleeping disorder (whatever it is) has been going on for about 3 years now. So, just be praying I can get it figured out. In the meantime if you have any suggestions to make ulcers feel better, let me know!

Death Threat??

So yesterday (Saturday), I was at work.  It was a normal day of me receiving boxes in the stockroom (for a while).  My boss was telling me how there was a lady and her autistic son who had come in.  Well, the mother works at Target which is in the same shopping center as where I work.  Basically, while she works, she lets her son wander around all of the  stores in the shopping center.  Keep in mind that he is 24 yrs. old.  My boss had told me that it had gotten to the point to where he was scaring off customers and not letting the employees get their jobs done.  By the time I had gotten to work, the kid had already come in the store 5 times.  Well, I had finished my receiving in the back, so I went to go help out on the sales floor.  He (we never got his name by the way..haha) comes in for a 6th time.  He knows everyone else's names, and naturally, he asks for mine.  I give him my name and he starts asking a dozen other questions such as: "Do you have a wife?".  I told him my wife's name.  Well, I go over to help a woman customer, and he follows me and keeps asking me questions as I'm helping this customer.  Then the customer checks out and leaves.  He starts telling me that I cheat on my wife (very loudy i might add) in front of customers because I was talking to another woman (The customer).  This went on for about 5 minutes.  Then a customer called our store so I was helping the customer find a book. I put the customer on hold for a minute and went to check to see if we had the book on the shelf.  The kid followed me and started kicking my feet trying to trip me.  Then I was headed back to the phone, and he grabbed me by the throat and told me he was going to body slam me.  I told him he was going to have to stop or he would have to leave. He kept calling me mean and started cussing at me in front of customers still saying that I'm cheating on my wife.  Two other employees and I had asked him to leave about five times.  He went and stood by the entrance door saying "I don't have to leave, your boss isn't here!".  Then he said "Zach, I'm gonna blow your head off!!", at which point I went to find the security guy that patrols the shopping center.  I couldn't find him so I came back, and the kid had left.  I start taking the trash to the back, and he walks back in.  I headed back to the stockroom so he wouldn't make another scene.  One of the other employees called the police.  The police came and they caught him down by Target.  The police interviewed me, asked if I wanted to press charges...I said no, and that was pretty much the end of it.  He was told not to come back or he would be put in jail.  The saddest part of this whole story for me is that his mom just lets him roam around while she works.  I felt bad because I know she's probably a single mother and has nothing else to do with him.  Anywho, I thought I'd share this with you since it was one of the most bizarre things that I've ever seen. haha

Can You Guess What the Pictures Are?

By the way, I copied my mom's blog!

My Top 20 albums to date (OLD AND NEW!!)

1. All American Rejects  -  "When the World Comes Down"

2. Coldplay  -  "Viva La Vida or Death and all of his friends"

3. Switchfoot  - "The beautiful letdown,"  "Nothing is Sound," and "Oh! Gravity" I love switchfoot!

4. The Classic Crime -  "The Silver Cord"

5. John Mayer  -  "Continuum"

6. Jon Foreman (Lead singer of Switchfoot has a 4 cd compilation entitled "Summer," "Spring," "Winter," and "Fall."  Love them all!)

7. Skillet  -  "Comatose"

8. Disciple  -  "Scars Remain," and "Southern Hospitality"

9. Brian "Head" Welch (Former guitarist of Korn)  -  "Save Me From Myself"

10. Red  -  "End of Silence"  (and I have a feeling that I'm gonna like their new one!)

11. Lifehouse  -  "Who We Are"

12. DC Talk  -  "Supernatural"

13. Falling Up  -  "Captiva" & "Dawn Escapes"

14. Three Days Grace -  "One-X"

15. The Almost  -  "Southern Weather"

16. Linkin Park  -  "Minutes to Midnight"

17. Angels and Airwaves  -  "We Don't need to Whisper"

18. Fireflight  -  "Unbreakable"

19. Paramore  -  "Riot!"

20. And Last and probably most Controversial     Marilyn Manson  -  "Eat Me, Drink Me" 

 (What can I say... the guy is a genius when it comes to making creative music! Listen to the song "Heart-shaped glasses" to hear what I'm talking about!  Not the lyrics, but the mix of creepy with pop music!)

There you go!  In some way or another, these albums have inspired me.  There are a lot more that I could name including Frank Sinatra "Classic Sinatra,"  Demon Hunter "Summer of Darkness" & "Storm the gates of Hell."  This list started as my top 10, but I realized I love music way too much to narrow it down that much!

More than ourselves

So ever since last Wed. night my brain has been running !!  Every wed. night my band, our wives/girlfriends, and the youth pastor at our church and his wife meet for "Life group."  We've been doing a study on the book of James.  In James 2:14 it says "My brothers and sisters, if people say they have faith, but do nothing, their faith is worth nothing.  Can faith like that save them?"  There's a lot more after that verse, but that's where I want to stop for now.  Jason (The youth pastor of our church) asked us a question that really made me think. He asked us if people have faith, but do nothing to demonstrate it, are they saved?  Well, he didn't even have to ask us because the bible asks us pretty clearly, and i didn't even see it.  Now, I'm not going to say that people who believe in Christ and have confessed that He is Lord are not one of his children.  I guess it makes you think that if they truly do have a faith in Christ and a love for Him, that you'd see a product of that according to this verse.  So then....I thought, well....am I showing this faith?  I'm surrounded by a BUNCH of people who are great at giving. My wife is one of them!  Personally, I'm horrible at it!  I think the thought of giving is awesome!  But when it comes down to it, I'm very selfish, and when I do give, usually it's because I get some kind of pleasure out of it.  When we give it shouldn't be to get a good feeling for ourselves, it should be a product of your faith and obedience.  Jason also told a story of how God convicted him to give in obedience.  When a homeless man asks for money, is it our responsibility what he does with it if God tells you to give it to him?  Someone in life group pointed out how we as Christians tend to just throw money at needs instead of helping the situation ourselves simply because we don't want to deal with it.  I also thought that maybe if Christians were to tithe biblically we wouldn't have the financial crisis that we're in, because we could be helping others in need in stead of worrying about our 4 walls.  I'm not writing to step on toes, just to trigger your thought process.  I want God to change my heart to see people the way He sees them.

A Song I'm working on

Typically when I write song lyrics, something inspires me to write them.  Most of the time it's extremely random (hence the theme of my blog..ha).  In this case, I was reading a book by a man from the "Beat Generation" by the name of Jack Kerouac.  The book is titled "On the Road."  I haven't finished the book yet because it takes me forever to get through books.  The title fits the book perfect, because it's a true story of this man living life on the road.  Basically he lives a "no rules" type of life and chases whatever seems to be the right decision at the time.  As I read about this man I began to think what if he would have chased life with his dreams and passions inspired by God.  He chased after life, and had a blast doing it, but when you have no ultimate purpose to live for, everything is meaningless.  I also read books by Erwin McManus, and in his book "Wide Awake," he gives this quote: "sometimes the limitations you are willing to accept establish the boundaries of your existence."  God has no boundaries, and when our relationship with God is intimate, we can trust our passions.  Both of these books have inspired some lyrics for a song I'm writing.  I haven't finished the words to this song yet, but here's what i have so far.

"I'm hiding out in this old cell

And I hear their voices as they yell

In the street that's just outside my window.

I long to see a mountain range

But my eyes depict "Papier-mache" 

And the boundaries that I accept will 

Proudly show that I neglect you.

(CHORUS)

I'm not ready, but I'll be ready tonight

Things aren't steady, but if you'll let me

I might, I might leave it all and 

Chase the fire in Your eyes.

The part of this song that says "And I hear their voices as they yell" describes everyone around me who I see is chasing life at full speed or "living loud" so to speak.  The chorus talks about how my faith is sometimes so weak that I think God isn't big enough to give me the happiness I see in these people.  So I want everyone to know that I'm now going to chase the dreams that God has instilled in my heart at full speed!  I'm excited to know that I'm chasing God's dreams for my life and not my own.